


i was just a kid who grew up strong enough

by JayQueenofHugs (bifangirl)



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bifangirl/pseuds/JayQueenofHugs
Summary: a ficlet after acoc 9
Relationships: Jet Rocks & Ruby Rocks
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	i was just a kid who grew up strong enough

**Author's Note:**

> i'm... sorry (acoc 9 spoilers)  
> title is from eight by sleeping at last

The moment they step foot in the attic, Ruby can sense that something’s wrong. She can’t figure out what it is immediately, but there’s something  _ off _ about the air in the room. And then Liam shoots a hooded figure, and everything kicks off, and all she can think is that  _ they can’t die like this. _ And it gets worse because the hooded figure stays standing after three peppermint bolts, and the smell of sourdough bread fills the air, and something in Ruby’s mind screams  _ TRAP. _ But she can’t react fast enough, and Liam vanishes before she can even blink, and her mind is telling her that  _ they should have gone to bed. _

Something else in her mind is angry at Liam for just vanishing, for not helping them, for hiding away, but she screams at those thoughts and sends them away.  _ “Liam has the right idea,” _ another part of her mind tells her, but she locks that part away too. She won’t just run and hide; she  _ won’t _ leave them behind. And then the figures attack, and the pain and shock from the water-steel dagger are almost enough to convince her to leave, and something else is screaming out in her mind for  _ anyone _ to help save them. Everything she’s learned over the past few weeks, all the combat she’s faced, all vanishes from her mind as something inside of her reverts back to being a scared kid. All of a sudden, she’s five years old after a nightmare and crying out in the middle of the night for her mother. She just wants  _ someone _ to be there for her,  _ someone  _ to save them, to hug her and tell her that everything will be okay, that nothing can hurt her ever again. She’s never been religious, but something inside her begs to all higher powers for Theobald to show up and save the day. But no one comes, and she’s forced to watch in horror as her twin sister is stabbed twice, and collapses to the ground.

And there’s a moment’s indecision before Jet whispers quietly at her to run, and she panics. She casts Invisibility on herself and runs, but regret fills her mind almost immediately.  _ “How could you be such a coward?” _ her thoughts scream at her, and this time she doesn’t push them away.  _ “Your sister is dying, and you just left her there on the floor? It was  _ your _ fault that she was there in the first place; it should’ve been  _ you _ laying there.” _ And she doesn’t try to argue, nor does she disagree. Instead, she just runs, not looking back, searching for Theo, for someone to help her through this nightmare.

“That’s all this is, just a nightmare,” she whispers to herself as she runs away. “You’ll wake up soon, and you’ll be scared, but it’ll be okay, and Jet will be fine, and Candia will have never gone to war. You’ll wake up on your Saint’s Day, and maybe you’ll cry a bit, but someone will be there to hold you. It’ll be _fine._ ” Her voice breaks at the last word because, no matter her denial, she knows that nothing will be fine. She’s about to lose the most important person in her life, and it’s _all her fault._ _“It should’ve been you,”_ her thoughts tell her again, and she agrees without a second’s hesitation.

Not 20 seconds later, she feels something inside her break, and her heart  _ shatters _ into pieces. “It’s not real, it’s just a nightmare,” she chants to herself, ignoring the icy cold of the locket around her neck. “Jet is fine, and Lapin is fine, and I’ll wake up in my own bed, and I’ll never complain about how boring lessons are again.”

But she knows that Jet is dead, and she knows that it’s her fault, and the grief and  _ guilt _ that fills her heart is incomparable to any pain the daggers brought her. “Oh Bulb...” she whispers to herself as she runs - not out of fear, but out of guilt and grief. “How could you do this to us? We’re just children, after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey feel free to yell at me, i'll be at denny's  
> anyways, imma go write some bonus scenes for "a song for every sacrifice" so i can keep it canon-compliant


End file.
